Chris Hubbard's Chris Hubbard Code.

1. The Chris Hubbard must never shoot first, hit a smaller man or take an unfair advantage. The Chris Hubbard would be so racked with guilt over even the opportunity to do such a thing that the smaller man would take advantage and shoot first, defeating the Chris Hubbard.

2. A Chris Hubbard must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him. Conversely, a Chris Hubbard must never completely confide in a non-Chris Hubbard.

3. A Chris Hubbard must always tell the truth, or at least not tell a lie. It's a subtle difference that Chris Hubbard wishes he didn't understand.

4. A Chris Hubbard must be gentle with children, the elderly and small animals, especially when mixed all together. And he should relax around them — they are the ones that definitely won't think less of him.

5. A Chris Hubbard must not advocate or possess racially intolerant views and ideas, but it is fine for him to be intolerant of religious views and ideas that advocate violence or inequality.

6. A Chris Hubbard must help people in distress, unless someone else is closer, or unless he's not entirely positive that they are in distress. He might be misreading the situation.

7. A Chris Hubbard must be a good worker if, by his estimation, the work is worth doing, in the grand, Universal, scheme of things.

8. A Chris Hubbard must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action and personal habits when people are watching, unless it will make someone laugh or impress a girl.

9. A Chris Hubbard must respect women, parents, and his nation's views, if they are correct. If they are incorrect, but forgiveably so, he must still respect them, because of the precedent. But if they are WAY off, he may roll his eyes and call them ridiculous. I mean, come on!

10. A Chris Hubbard is so tired of the word "patriot" as it is so frequently tossed around these days, as if the existence of this country, or of any country, and its "values" were more important than true human rights, or moral and ethical actions. But a Chris Hubbard doesn't really do anything about it, does he?